Okay, let's talk about something that seems simple but trips up so many Spanish learners. You're squeezing through a crowded mercado in Barcelona or trying to get a waiter's attention in Mexico City, and you freeze. How to say excuse me in Spanish? Is it "perdón" or "disculpe"? Maybe you've heard "con permiso" somewhere? Truth is, there's no single answer – and using the wrong one can make you sound robotic or even rude.
I learned this the awkward way during my first trip to Madrid. Trying to reach my seat in a packed cinema, I kept repeating "lo siento" (which actually means "I'm sorry") while stepping on toes. An abuela finally sighed loudly and said "¡Con permiso, joven!" That's when I realized mastering these phrases isn't just vocabulary – it's cultural navigation. Let's break this down properly.
When to Use Which Phrase (No More Guessing)
Throw out those oversimplified phrasebooks. Choosing the right "excuse me" depends on three things: the situation, who you're talking to, and which Spanish-speaking country you're in. Here's your cheat sheet:
| Spanish Phrase | Best For | Formality Level | Pronunciation | Country Preference |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Perdón | Minor apologies after bumping someone | Casual / Neutral | pehr-DON | Universal (most common) |
| Disculpe | Getting attention politely (strangers/services) | Formal | dees-KOOL-peh | Latin America preferred |
| Con permiso | Passing through crowds or tight spaces | Neutral | kohn pehr-MEE-soh | Universal (essential in crowds) |
| Perdona | Casual apologies with friends | Very Informal | pehr-DOH-nah | Spain > Latin America |
| Oiga | Getting attention (caution: can be abrupt) | Informal/Rude if misused | OY-gah | Some Latin American regions |
Pro Tip: See how "disculpe" and "perdón" overlap? In Spain, "perdón" works for both apologies and getting attention. But in Mexico, using "perdón" to call a waiter might get ignored – they expect "disculpe". Annoying? Maybe. Important? Absolutely.
Restaurant Nightmare Avoidance
You're in a noisy Buenos Aires parrilla trying to order:
❌ Wrong: Shouting "¡Perdón!" across the room (implies apology, not attention-seeking)
✅ Right: Making eye contact + raised hand + "Disculpe, ¿podría venir?" (Excuse me, could you come?)
Pronounce Like You Mean It (Audio-Free Guide)
Written guides often fail you with pronunciation. Let me give you the street-level breakdown:
| Phrase | Breakdown | Common Mistakes |
|---|---|---|
| Disculpe | "dees-KOOL-peh" Stress the BOLD caps syllable |
❌ "dis-COOL-pay" (English accent) ❌ "dees-culp" (missing final vowel) |
| Con permiso | "kohn pehr-MEE-soh" Roll the R slightly if possible |
❌ "con per-MEE-so" (stressing middle syllable) ❌ "con permiso?" (sounding like a question) |
| Perdón | "pehr-DON" Sharp "D", nasal "ON" |
❌ "per-DAWN" (English vowel sound) ❌ "pair-don" (mispronouncing first syllable) |
That rolled R in "permiso" giving you trouble? Don't stress. Most natives understand even without perfect rolls. I substitute a soft tap (like "dd" in "ladder") and survive just fine.
Regional Differences That Matter
Spanish isn't a monolith. Local variations can make your "excuse me" land perfectly or flop:
Spain vs Latin America Divide
- Spain: "Perdona" (informal) and "Perdón" (neutral) dominate daily life. "Disculpe" sounds overly formal, like addressing royalty.
- Mexico/Central America: "Disculpe" is your go-to for strangers. "¿Me permite?" (Will you permit me?) is ultra-polite for squeezing past.
- Argentina/Uruguay: "Disculpá" (informal) replaces "disculpe". The dropped final syllable feels more local.
- Caribbean: "Con permiso" gets shortened to "permiso" in fast speech. Beware – direct eye contact matters more than phrases here.
Culture Alert: In Chile or Colombia, adding "por favor" (please) to "disculpe" isn't optional – it's basic courtesy. Skip it and you'll feel the icy stare.
Body Language Hacks
Your words are only half the battle. Nail these physical cues:
| Situation | Verbal Phrase | Body Language | Effectiveness |
|---|---|---|---|
| Passing in crowded metro | "Con permiso" | Slight forward lean + open palm gesture | ★★★★★ (creates space instantly) |
| Getting server's attention | "Disculpe" | Eye contact + hand raised to shoulder height | ★★★★☆ (avoid finger-pointing!) |
| Minor bump on street | "Perdón" | Brief hand touch to chest + small nod | ★★★★★ (shows sincerity) |
Notice Europeans often add a slight head bow with "perdón"? Copy that. Makes apologies feel more genuine.
When Things Go Wrong (Real-Life Fixes)
Despite your best efforts, misunderstandings happen. Here's how I've recovered:
Scenario: You Said "Perdón" But They Seem Offended
Why: In some contexts, "perdón" implies serious fault. You might have over-apologized.
Fix: Switch to "¡Fue sin querer!" (It was unintentional!) with palms up. Instantly defuses tension.
Scenario: People Aren't Letting You Pass
Why: "Con permiso" can get lost in noise. Your volume/tone might be off.
Fix: Lower your pitch slightly, add "¿por favor?" and touch shoulders VERY lightly (women), elbows (men). Physical contact breaks the barrier.
Burning Questions Answered
Is "excuseme" used in Spanglish?
Sometimes, but it screams "tourist". Better to use "disculpe" even if your accent isn't perfect. Locals appreciate the effort.
Can I use "lo siento" instead?
Disaster move. "Lo siento" means deep regret ("I'm sorry for your loss"). Using it for minor bumps makes you sound overly dramatic. Save it for real apologies.
Why do Argentines say "che" before excusing themselves?
"Che" (pronounced "cheh") is a casual attention-grabber like "hey". "Che, permiso" is common among friends. But don't use it with elders or officials.
What's the #1 mistake English speakers make?
Saying "perdóneme" instead of "perdón". That extra "-me" suffix makes it formal/commanding. Unless you're reprimanding someone, drop the "-me".
Context Is King (Quick Reference)
- Physical Spaces (markets/transport): "Con permiso" + forward motion
- Service Interactions (shops/restaurants): "Disculpe" + eye contact
- Minor Bumps/Apologies: "Perdón" + hand-to-chest gesture
- Friends/Family Slip-ups: "Perdona" or "uy, sorry" (yes, Spanglish slips in)
- Urgent Situations (fire/medical): "¡Permiso!" loud and sharp – drops formalities
Remember my cinema story? Now when I need to pass people, I lead with "con permiso" while already moving sideways. People instinctively make space before their brain processes the words. Magic.
Why Getting This Right Matters
Beyond politeness, using the right phrase affects how locals perceive you. In a Seville tapas bar last summer, I watched two tourists try to order:
- Tourist A: Shouted "¡Oiga!" across the room. Waiter deliberately served others first.
- Tourist B: Said "Disculpe, por favor" at reasonable volume. Got served immediately + free olives.
That micro-interaction changed their entire experience. When you nail the local etiquette, doors open – sometimes literally. So next time you wonder how to say excuse me in Spanish, match the phrase to your scenario, not just memorize words. Your travel experiences will thank you.
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